Creating healthy energetic boundaries is key to producing a positive flow of energy in our relationships. At heart, all our relationships are energetic exchanges—opportunities to become a conduit for life force energy. When energetic boundaries are in place, the resulting flow is growth promoting, first for ourselves and then for others. Without such boundaries, however, we can easily exhaust ourselves of energy or inadvertently take on the unwanted energies of others, outcomes that impede our growth and damage our relationships. Wanting their happiness perhaps more than they want it themselves, for instance, we can become so involved in trying to generate it for them that the effort takes its toll on us physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. At its best, the energetic drain makes us vulnerable to feelings of compassion fatigue. At its worst, it can stress our heart center, resulting in exhaustion, depression, or medical conditions such as increased blood pressure or cardiac disease. Creating healthy boundaries with more casual friends, associates, coworkers, and even strangers is just as important.
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Does being around certain people cause you to feel drained, agitated or confused? The following information contains 5 Boundary Setting Tricks so you can retain your boundaries and remain energized, calm and assertive. This gives the energy field its structure and boundaries, resembling that of an eggshell. There are several books available that go more in depth describing the human energy field, a personal favorite being Hands of Light by Barbara Brennan. When describing boundaries, two types of boundaries that will be addressed here are physical and energetic boundaries. They are not necessarily distinct, instead they overlap in the ways we sense and understand them. From the energy-based worldview, physical boundaries are the most obvious due to their tangibility. These are all things we can readily perceive with our five senses. Energetically speaking, boundaries are the container of the self, where you end and another person begins.
BY Cyndi Dale
People have two needs. When authenticity threatens attachment, attachment trumps authenticity. Most of us weren't taught what energetic boundaries are and even fewer of us were taught as children how to set them. An energetic boundary is like an invisible layer of skin around our soul and emotional body that helps us to define where we begin and end in relation to another. This self-awareness helps us to monitor our energy level, recognize when our sacred self is being violated, and discern what kind of relational dynamics and physical boundaries best serve our well-being and happiness. The longest, unprecedented research study on health and happiness confirms just how crucial they are to our well-being. Psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, and Zen priest, Robert Waldinger, is the fourth director currently in charge of the 75 year Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has tracked two groups of participants since men who attended Harvard College and boys from the most disadvantaged community in Boston.
People with weakened boundaries often behave in ways they think is right and good, such as being humble, flexible, caring, generous, etc. However, it is easy to slip into the negative polarity of those qualities and forget our own needs and preferences for the needs of others. My weak boundaries reflected themselves in how I used to tell the world around me that I sucked, such as:. Not being clear about our personal values, needs, preferences, qualities, and talents can make it harder to define and know what is acceptable and true for us or not, what is our responsability and what is others. We may be left with an unidentifiable awkwardness when interacting with some people. Here are some examples of what weakens our energetic boundaries :. I believe we respond this way when our self-worth is low and this, in turn, weakens our energetic boundaries. When our energetic boundaries are weakened we can experience some of the following symptoms :. I have come a long way in learning how to set and maintain healthy boundaries for myself.